Mary L
2013-07-25 17:03:33 UTC
This is continued from
The McSweegan Diaries - Part 1 - Uncut Version
which is here:
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/sci.med.diseases.lyme/b3jhFhqaG80
"...And of course, the son was even smarter and more ruthless
than the Mom and Dad, cos it had a double-helping of those smart, humanoid, killer instinct genes. So when he grew up, he roamed the earth till he found another ape colony where the same thing had happened, and there was a young female ape running amok with a tree branch. So obviously they fell in love and had kids and so on, and so on, and so on, until eventually Homo Sapiens accrued, which is the smartest, most ruthless killing machine that has ever existed on this planet.
I mean, what other animal would have the both the willpower and the smarts to develop nuclear, chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction that could wipe the planet out 10 000 times over?
So you see, we are the pinnacle of evolution cos we're smart and cos we're killers, and these core values are embodied above all in biowarfare scientists like me. Yes, WMD scientists are the apex of humanity. But folks just don't seem to appreciate that.
Anyway, to get back to the issue at hand. Those damned Macdonald videos.
So I called up Alan Barbour, who is one of my biowarfare colleagues, and has always been a first-class coverup guy. And I used to admire him, until I saw those videos. And so I said to Barbour:
"Al, what the hell have you done?"
"What's up Ed? Why're you pissed at me?"
"Well, have you seen the videos that Alan Macdonald has put all over Youtube?"
"No, what's in 'em?"
"What's in 'em? What's in 'em??!! I'll tell you what's in 'em. One of your goddam photos of a tick gut full of Borrelia, that's what's in 'em!"
"Oh, you mean the carpet of spiral Borrelia burgdorferi bacteria? What's the harm in that?"
"There wasn't just a carpet of spiral Bb in that photo, Al. There was a bunch of big fat cystic forms of Borrelia bouncing around on that carpet, Al. And you put that out in the public domain where Macdonald could get his hands on it, you idiot! Do you have any idea what a major breach of security guidelines that is? No one's supposed to know about cystic forms of Borrelia!!!!"
"Oh, that."
"Yes, that. Look Al, the US Dept of Defense has worked very hard for many many decades to keep nonspiral, antibiotic-resistant forms of spirochetes out of the medical textbooks and out of the literature - and then you go and blow it by putting a photo out there full of Borrelia cysts. Are you stupid or what???!!!"
"Now don't be like that, Ed. I didn't do it deliberately. I didn't think anyone would notice the round cystic forms. I thought people would just notice the spirals. After all, like you said, we've kept it out of the textbooks for years. So who would see a round thing and think it had anything to do with spirochetes, whcih are supposed to be all-spiral, all the time?"
"You didn't think anyone would notice?! You didn't think anyone would notice?! You let a bunch of round things as big as Paris Hilton's tits go out there and you don't think anyone is gonna naotice??!! Are you crazy??!! They're like, twenty times the diameter of a spiral spirochete."
"Yeah, but I thought people would just think they were artefacts and ignore them. I mean we've always managed to fool the medical profession into thinking that before."
"Yeah, well you didn't fool Macdonald, did you? And now he's gone and put YOUR photo on Youtube for everyone to see. And by the way,Al, what the hell did you give him your monoclonal antibodies for?"
"I was trying to get everyone to acknowledge my fake Lyme strain as THE cause of Lyme. I didn't know that he would be able to find some of the REAL strains with it. I'm only human, Ed. I can't predict everything."
"Yeah, you're right. You can't predict everything. In fact, you can't predict ANYTHING. In fact, if I put a gun to your head right now and pulled the trigger, you probably couldn't predict what might happen to you, right?"
"Please, Ed -"
"Don't 'please Ed' me, Al. You publish a goddam photo of Borrelia cysts when they're not supposed to exist, and then you go and give Alan Macdonald your goddam monoclonal antibodies so he can go around identifying Borrelia in all the chronic Lymies, when chronic Lyme is not supposed to exist. And then, he takes your goddam antibodies, and uses them to identify Borrelia in Alzheimer brains, which is hugely, hugely top secret!!! I mean do you have a single functioning brain cell in your head, Barbour?"
"Look, Ed, there's no need to get so vicious. It was an honest mistake. I was really careful back in the 80s, honest I was. I developed Bb sensu stricto strain B31 using the utmost care, cloning by limiting dilution so I could be sure that every future Lyme test would be based on the DNA and protein profile of just one Borrelial cell, just that one cell that I knew so well, it was like...like a friend to me. I was so careful not to contaminate it with any other possible cell that that might just have complicated things if it had had the genes for real pathogenicity, for fatigue and brain damage and death and stuff...I mean, I tried so hard, Ed. I didn't know that some of the sick patients might still end up sero-positive. Most of 'em don't - and that's a credit to my careful, hard work. How could I know that some of the monoclonal antibodies might accidentally pick up some of the top secret Borrelia strains too?"
"Well, now you know. And don't tell me about how 'careful' you were, with your cloning by limiting dilution. Why the hell did you have to tell the world that that's how you isolated the cause of Lyme disease?"
"Well, it's standard procedure in science to document what you do."
"Standard procedure?! Al, there's a war on. We got Communists and Islamists at our gates, ready to invade at any moment. You don't use 'standard procedures' when they involve putting into the public domain all the techniques you used to fool the medical profession!!!"
"Ed, Communism is dead. The Soviet Union is long gone."
"Well, there are still murderous Islamists at our gates, just waiting to turn us into a nation of Koran-worshipping, bacon-avoiding teetotallers. And you're playing right into their hands!"
"I'm sorry, Ed. What more can I say?"
"I should drive over to California and PUNCH you in the face!"
"I'm sorry, Ed."
"That's not good enough. You got us into this mess. YOU get us out. You better think of something quick. More and more people are gonna watch those Macdonald videos, and draw their own conclusions."
So Barbour thinks for a while, and then he says this:
"Okay, I have an idea. I'll write a critique of Macdonald's video, and we'll use the EIS network to make sure it gets published in a major medical journal, and also goes out on all the major mainstream news outlets. I'll explain that the big round things are just artefacts, that that particular tick was discovered in a Shelter Island candy store, where it had crawled in and devoured a box of M and M's. It could only digest the outer coating, so you can see them all bouncing around the tick gut, only without the colored shells, and with out the 'M's'..."
"Ticks suck blood, Al, they don't pop candy. No one's gonna buy that BS."
So he thinks for a while longer, and then he says:
"Okay, we'll say the tick had cancer. It had a massive colorectal tumor, and these things are the secondaries which got detached and are bouncing around the gut."
"No, Al, that's stupid. First of all, ticks don't have a colon. Second of all, ticks don't have a rectum. Third of all, the last thing we wanna do right now is start talking about cancer in the context of Lyme disease. The damn LLMDs have already twigged that Borrelia can cause a B-cell Lymphoma, and they're getting suspicious about other cancers too. No talk of cancer, Al. Think of something else."
But Barbour was all out of ideas, so in the end I realised I'd have to undo the huge damage he'd caused myself.
So I called up some of my buddies in the CIA and explained what had happened. I said:
"Look guys, it's urgent. I need your help. Some rogue pathologist has out highly sensitive classified information about spirochetes on Youtube, and if we're not careful, an important coverup might come down. I need you guys to shut down his Youtube channel for me."
"Now, Ed, you know that's not a good idea. He'll just put it somewhere else on Youtibe, and it'll just attract even more attention to the videos, for being shut down the first time."
"OK, so say we shut the whole of Youtube down?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"We don't have the authorization to do that. That's something we can only do under extreme conditions, where an imminent and massive threat to national security is involved."
"This IS an imminent and massive threat to national security! What do you think's gonna happen when the American people find out that their public health service has been lying to hem for decades, and has caused millions of people to suffer from a disease epidemic caused by the carelessness and stupidity of their own military? There'll be a massive crisis of confidence, and then Al Qaida and the North Korans will just waltz in and take over. And they'll crucify me, cos I was in charge of Lyme Disease at NIH through so much of that time..."
"Ed, we're no gonna shut down Youtube."
Sometimes I just wanna PUNCH those CIA guys in the face. I mean, what's the point of paying your tax dollars, if the CIA won't shut down a major part of the Internet when you need them to. Stop the Internet! I wanna get off!
Then they said:
"Look, why don't you just talk to this rogue pathologist. Make him understand why, in the interests of this great country, it is necessary to take his videos off Youttube, and stop interfering with an important coverup that isin the best interests of the American people."
"It won't work."
"Why not?"
"Cos he's too - he's too - he's too damn caring!!!" I spit the word out. I hate that word 'caring' so much.
"I see. Well, I'm sorry, Ed, there's not a lot we can do. We're not gonna be able to get Obama's authorization to shut down Youtube over something like this."
"Then do it without his goddamn authorization. Come on, you guys do big stuff all the time without the President's permission. I mean, what did you do with Kennedy, ask him for his authorization to arrange his assassination?"
They started to look at me kinda funny and one of them began reaching toward his pocket, so I quickly said:
"Just joking, fellas." Then I thought of an idea. "OK, how about arresting Macdonald. Cook up something. Say you found out he was a secret emmeber of Al Qaida or something. Put him in Guantanamo!"
"Ed, we've told you this before - we can't just go around putting everyone you don't like in Guantanamo. We told you that last year, when you put in that request to put the whole of ILADS, and the entire chronic Lyme patient community in there."
"I don't see why you couldn't comply with a simple request like that...."
"Well, first off, there isn't enough space in Guantanamo for all the people who have chronic Lyme. It was never built to hold millions of people!"
"OK, so enlarge it. Make the space. Invade Cuba. Then we'll have the space."
"Come on, Ed, you know the last time we tried that, we nearly started WW3."
"Yeah, but things were different back then. Back then there was a Soviet Union."
"You seem to think there still is."
You see what I mean. People keep accusing me of being paranoid about Reds under the bed. I know EXACTLY what's under my bed, and - DAMN! That sounds like my wife pulling into the drive. She's gonna find my Paris Hilton magazine! I gotta run!
So I never got to finish negociating with the CIA spooks and the problem never got solved.
Like I said, it's been a TERRIBLE week, and I wish I could just PUNCH this week in the face."
The McSweegan Diaries - Part 1 - Uncut Version
which is here:
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/sci.med.diseases.lyme/b3jhFhqaG80
"...And of course, the son was even smarter and more ruthless
than the Mom and Dad, cos it had a double-helping of those smart, humanoid, killer instinct genes. So when he grew up, he roamed the earth till he found another ape colony where the same thing had happened, and there was a young female ape running amok with a tree branch. So obviously they fell in love and had kids and so on, and so on, and so on, until eventually Homo Sapiens accrued, which is the smartest, most ruthless killing machine that has ever existed on this planet.
I mean, what other animal would have the both the willpower and the smarts to develop nuclear, chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction that could wipe the planet out 10 000 times over?
So you see, we are the pinnacle of evolution cos we're smart and cos we're killers, and these core values are embodied above all in biowarfare scientists like me. Yes, WMD scientists are the apex of humanity. But folks just don't seem to appreciate that.
Anyway, to get back to the issue at hand. Those damned Macdonald videos.
So I called up Alan Barbour, who is one of my biowarfare colleagues, and has always been a first-class coverup guy. And I used to admire him, until I saw those videos. And so I said to Barbour:
"Al, what the hell have you done?"
"What's up Ed? Why're you pissed at me?"
"Well, have you seen the videos that Alan Macdonald has put all over Youtube?"
"No, what's in 'em?"
"What's in 'em? What's in 'em??!! I'll tell you what's in 'em. One of your goddam photos of a tick gut full of Borrelia, that's what's in 'em!"
"Oh, you mean the carpet of spiral Borrelia burgdorferi bacteria? What's the harm in that?"
"There wasn't just a carpet of spiral Bb in that photo, Al. There was a bunch of big fat cystic forms of Borrelia bouncing around on that carpet, Al. And you put that out in the public domain where Macdonald could get his hands on it, you idiot! Do you have any idea what a major breach of security guidelines that is? No one's supposed to know about cystic forms of Borrelia!!!!"
"Oh, that."
"Yes, that. Look Al, the US Dept of Defense has worked very hard for many many decades to keep nonspiral, antibiotic-resistant forms of spirochetes out of the medical textbooks and out of the literature - and then you go and blow it by putting a photo out there full of Borrelia cysts. Are you stupid or what???!!!"
"Now don't be like that, Ed. I didn't do it deliberately. I didn't think anyone would notice the round cystic forms. I thought people would just notice the spirals. After all, like you said, we've kept it out of the textbooks for years. So who would see a round thing and think it had anything to do with spirochetes, whcih are supposed to be all-spiral, all the time?"
"You didn't think anyone would notice?! You didn't think anyone would notice?! You let a bunch of round things as big as Paris Hilton's tits go out there and you don't think anyone is gonna naotice??!! Are you crazy??!! They're like, twenty times the diameter of a spiral spirochete."
"Yeah, but I thought people would just think they were artefacts and ignore them. I mean we've always managed to fool the medical profession into thinking that before."
"Yeah, well you didn't fool Macdonald, did you? And now he's gone and put YOUR photo on Youtube for everyone to see. And by the way,Al, what the hell did you give him your monoclonal antibodies for?"
"I was trying to get everyone to acknowledge my fake Lyme strain as THE cause of Lyme. I didn't know that he would be able to find some of the REAL strains with it. I'm only human, Ed. I can't predict everything."
"Yeah, you're right. You can't predict everything. In fact, you can't predict ANYTHING. In fact, if I put a gun to your head right now and pulled the trigger, you probably couldn't predict what might happen to you, right?"
"Please, Ed -"
"Don't 'please Ed' me, Al. You publish a goddam photo of Borrelia cysts when they're not supposed to exist, and then you go and give Alan Macdonald your goddam monoclonal antibodies so he can go around identifying Borrelia in all the chronic Lymies, when chronic Lyme is not supposed to exist. And then, he takes your goddam antibodies, and uses them to identify Borrelia in Alzheimer brains, which is hugely, hugely top secret!!! I mean do you have a single functioning brain cell in your head, Barbour?"
"Look, Ed, there's no need to get so vicious. It was an honest mistake. I was really careful back in the 80s, honest I was. I developed Bb sensu stricto strain B31 using the utmost care, cloning by limiting dilution so I could be sure that every future Lyme test would be based on the DNA and protein profile of just one Borrelial cell, just that one cell that I knew so well, it was like...like a friend to me. I was so careful not to contaminate it with any other possible cell that that might just have complicated things if it had had the genes for real pathogenicity, for fatigue and brain damage and death and stuff...I mean, I tried so hard, Ed. I didn't know that some of the sick patients might still end up sero-positive. Most of 'em don't - and that's a credit to my careful, hard work. How could I know that some of the monoclonal antibodies might accidentally pick up some of the top secret Borrelia strains too?"
"Well, now you know. And don't tell me about how 'careful' you were, with your cloning by limiting dilution. Why the hell did you have to tell the world that that's how you isolated the cause of Lyme disease?"
"Well, it's standard procedure in science to document what you do."
"Standard procedure?! Al, there's a war on. We got Communists and Islamists at our gates, ready to invade at any moment. You don't use 'standard procedures' when they involve putting into the public domain all the techniques you used to fool the medical profession!!!"
"Ed, Communism is dead. The Soviet Union is long gone."
"Well, there are still murderous Islamists at our gates, just waiting to turn us into a nation of Koran-worshipping, bacon-avoiding teetotallers. And you're playing right into their hands!"
"I'm sorry, Ed. What more can I say?"
"I should drive over to California and PUNCH you in the face!"
"I'm sorry, Ed."
"That's not good enough. You got us into this mess. YOU get us out. You better think of something quick. More and more people are gonna watch those Macdonald videos, and draw their own conclusions."
So Barbour thinks for a while, and then he says this:
"Okay, I have an idea. I'll write a critique of Macdonald's video, and we'll use the EIS network to make sure it gets published in a major medical journal, and also goes out on all the major mainstream news outlets. I'll explain that the big round things are just artefacts, that that particular tick was discovered in a Shelter Island candy store, where it had crawled in and devoured a box of M and M's. It could only digest the outer coating, so you can see them all bouncing around the tick gut, only without the colored shells, and with out the 'M's'..."
"Ticks suck blood, Al, they don't pop candy. No one's gonna buy that BS."
So he thinks for a while longer, and then he says:
"Okay, we'll say the tick had cancer. It had a massive colorectal tumor, and these things are the secondaries which got detached and are bouncing around the gut."
"No, Al, that's stupid. First of all, ticks don't have a colon. Second of all, ticks don't have a rectum. Third of all, the last thing we wanna do right now is start talking about cancer in the context of Lyme disease. The damn LLMDs have already twigged that Borrelia can cause a B-cell Lymphoma, and they're getting suspicious about other cancers too. No talk of cancer, Al. Think of something else."
But Barbour was all out of ideas, so in the end I realised I'd have to undo the huge damage he'd caused myself.
So I called up some of my buddies in the CIA and explained what had happened. I said:
"Look guys, it's urgent. I need your help. Some rogue pathologist has out highly sensitive classified information about spirochetes on Youtube, and if we're not careful, an important coverup might come down. I need you guys to shut down his Youtube channel for me."
"Now, Ed, you know that's not a good idea. He'll just put it somewhere else on Youtibe, and it'll just attract even more attention to the videos, for being shut down the first time."
"OK, so say we shut the whole of Youtube down?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"We don't have the authorization to do that. That's something we can only do under extreme conditions, where an imminent and massive threat to national security is involved."
"This IS an imminent and massive threat to national security! What do you think's gonna happen when the American people find out that their public health service has been lying to hem for decades, and has caused millions of people to suffer from a disease epidemic caused by the carelessness and stupidity of their own military? There'll be a massive crisis of confidence, and then Al Qaida and the North Korans will just waltz in and take over. And they'll crucify me, cos I was in charge of Lyme Disease at NIH through so much of that time..."
"Ed, we're no gonna shut down Youtube."
Sometimes I just wanna PUNCH those CIA guys in the face. I mean, what's the point of paying your tax dollars, if the CIA won't shut down a major part of the Internet when you need them to. Stop the Internet! I wanna get off!
Then they said:
"Look, why don't you just talk to this rogue pathologist. Make him understand why, in the interests of this great country, it is necessary to take his videos off Youttube, and stop interfering with an important coverup that isin the best interests of the American people."
"It won't work."
"Why not?"
"Cos he's too - he's too - he's too damn caring!!!" I spit the word out. I hate that word 'caring' so much.
"I see. Well, I'm sorry, Ed, there's not a lot we can do. We're not gonna be able to get Obama's authorization to shut down Youtube over something like this."
"Then do it without his goddamn authorization. Come on, you guys do big stuff all the time without the President's permission. I mean, what did you do with Kennedy, ask him for his authorization to arrange his assassination?"
They started to look at me kinda funny and one of them began reaching toward his pocket, so I quickly said:
"Just joking, fellas." Then I thought of an idea. "OK, how about arresting Macdonald. Cook up something. Say you found out he was a secret emmeber of Al Qaida or something. Put him in Guantanamo!"
"Ed, we've told you this before - we can't just go around putting everyone you don't like in Guantanamo. We told you that last year, when you put in that request to put the whole of ILADS, and the entire chronic Lyme patient community in there."
"I don't see why you couldn't comply with a simple request like that...."
"Well, first off, there isn't enough space in Guantanamo for all the people who have chronic Lyme. It was never built to hold millions of people!"
"OK, so enlarge it. Make the space. Invade Cuba. Then we'll have the space."
"Come on, Ed, you know the last time we tried that, we nearly started WW3."
"Yeah, but things were different back then. Back then there was a Soviet Union."
"You seem to think there still is."
You see what I mean. People keep accusing me of being paranoid about Reds under the bed. I know EXACTLY what's under my bed, and - DAMN! That sounds like my wife pulling into the drive. She's gonna find my Paris Hilton magazine! I gotta run!
So I never got to finish negociating with the CIA spooks and the problem never got solved.
Like I said, it's been a TERRIBLE week, and I wish I could just PUNCH this week in the face."